THE DRESS!!!

Okay so I've spent 3 days trying to wrap my head around the events surrounding the dress and have finally decided that I'm just going to sit here and type and hope that my words can express the extent of emotion that surrounded the following events...

So, my friends Sarah, Anna & I went out dress shopping as planned- great friends that they are- by the way thank you so much for your patience my dear friends!

We went to the first shop & I spent a majority of the time trying to figure out how it is that a human being is supposed to get into something with so many layers. Thank goodness Sarah & Anna were there or I may have been forever lost in a sea of crinoline, lace & satin- aaahhh! They lifted, tucked and gave plenty of advice on how to get the appropriate parts of me into the appropriate parts of the dresses- let's just say there was much bending over involved...


Interesting stuff at the first store but nothing worth "wowing" about. We head off to the second store- we have limited time together (Anna has to get Abby, her baby girl, - and truly I'm thinking -No let me get Abby and you do this- Pleaseeee) and we are going to this store in particular because I'm scared to go in there alone. The women are like the used car salesmen of wedding dresses- yikes! We stopped for drinks first (as well as Sarah's chili fix- don't ask) and by the way not the kind of drink I wanted to stop for at this point. After chugging some soda and Chai (and the chili) we venture into said "scary store." Would it be inapproproiate for me to use Sarah's words here? Oh well...- "It smells like ass in here." I have no idea what was happening in that store before we walked in but oh man- can we go now?!?!? Unfortunately, living in Fairbanks means you have to make some sacrifices- including stinky stores, so we proceed in. The dresses are all from an Asian country- as evidenced by tags I can't read- and if you haven't made the connection yet, not made in sizes this Spanish/ Native girl can fit into! Sarah looked way cute in one of the evening gowns she tried on and a dress she picked for me looked okay but not fabulous. And who wants to spend that kind of money on "not fabulous?"


By the way did I mention that in my mind the entire adventure was a recon mission. I thought that if I could find out what looked good on then I could then go on-line to find a similar dress. This would then satisfy my "cheapness" by getting the dress for 1/4 of the price... I knew it would probably fall apart by the end of the day but it's not like I planned on wearing it again- right! So, no real luck at the stores with the girls- now off to Sarah's house for me to try on Anna's dress because did I mention I have some of the greatest friends EVER! Anna had suggested her dress as an option. WOW- what an amazing offer. So we opened the box and I tried on a beautiful chiffon dress- light, simple, elegant. Everything anyone who knows me would know is just my style. It's beautiful. But I can't help feeling the guilt of having to alter my dear friends dress- what about when Abby wants to get married in the dress her momma married her daddy in and I've changed it. Doesn't feel right- I can't handle the Catholic guilt... what to do, what to do?


I head home feeling so loved yet weirdly guilty and decide to check out the remaining two stores in town. That's right all you non-Fairbanksans- there are all of 4 shops where one can buy a formal dress- like it or leave it. Stop number one afforded me similar pleasures as the last stop made with the girls- nothing that isn't labeled in some perverse fashion that makes normal sized women feel ENORMOUS! Okay, so I go to the last store in town really just so I can say I did and maybe to look at veil options. I'm there and thinking to myself, well girl this is it- the last time in your life that you will ever do this so why not have some fun with it?! Pretty soon I have, no lie, 15 dresses hanging in the fitting room- thank God the sales girl was too busy to notice me.


The first dress I try on is this strapless, beaded, fluffy thing I would never even think to pick up normally- wouldn't you know it- it's THE dress! I literally gasped when I put it on. All I could think was "I look like a Princess." I know, I've never wanted to look like a princess before- I don't know what's wrong with me?!?! But WOW, wow, wow! I had never felt so beautiful as at that moment- it was THE dress. Then cue up the dramatic music again please- I looked at the price tag... What!? was I thinking?!? I refuse to spend that kind on money on a dress, especially one that I will only wear once. And so the internal-external dialogue began.
(oh by the way, I did try on the rest of the dresses and one of them was okay and a heck of a lot cheaper so maybe I could talk myself into that.)


I went home with this continued blathering of dialogue in my head- right thing to do, don't be ridiculous, it's one day, spend the money on... Finally I called Rick and told him about the dress and told him I needed him to see it on me. My thought being that if he saw it on that would be it- he could see what it would have looked like and I could move on with my normally practical side.


On Monday afternoon I drag Rick, Blayke, Payton & Wyatt to the shop to see THE dress on. Somewhere in the time between the first dress try on and this extended trip I had a nervous, hormonal, bridal breakdown. Tears, agony, distraught, misery, nashing of teeth- the whole nine yards. In retrospect, it was my pratical side and my dreamy side trying to come to some reasonable conclusion. Anyway, we went to the store and I gathered THE dress and the other okay/ much cheaper dress and tried them both on for Rick and the kids. Rick and the girls agreed THE dress looked beautiful. The other dress didn't score any points- so much for trying to go cheaper. We leave the store and I think to myself okay at least now he knows how I wanted to look for him on our wedding day.


Because really that was a huge deal for me- I wanted to be so beautiful for the man I love that he would never forget.


But anyway- internal/ external dialogue continued and bled over into my work life. For two days straight all I could talk about was how pretty this dress was and how I wished I could get over being so practical. My friends and co-workers gave me the stink-eye whenever I said I could never go for it.


Skip to Valentine's Day morning- my dear sweet love has yet again given me the gift of his time and love that can never be outdone by any other gift. He gave me this gift bag with DVD's, a t-shirt, a very perfect card but best of all a photo album. The album is full of pictues with captions for each one describing what love is and how these pictures depict our love. I can't help but take it to work and share it with my friends- what a keeper he is! All day I think about how much I love him and how I truly do not deserve this man. I am the luckiest woman alive!


I arrive home from work to find the house lit by candlelight, soft music playing and the wonderful smells of a lovingly prepared dinner. As I round the corner I see my perfect man standing there smiling at me and I know that my world is just right. We sit down to dinner and I find another card with my name on it. I am tempted to say "you shouldn't have" but I don't, I just open this sweet card. Inside of the card I find a hand written note that tells me that I "made this look so much more beautiful than this. I want you to feel like a princess on our wedding day!" Inside of the hand written note is a picture of THE dress! That's right- THE DRESS! Have you ever heard of the bride being given THE dress by her groom- on Valentine's Day?


How is it possible that after all this time I have found THE PERFECT MAN? I am the LUCKIEST girl alive! I have found someone who understands me, listens to me and genuinely cares about how I feel. He's my PERFECT.


PS- By the way he had already scored big points with the album- the dress shot him in orbit higher than the moon!